Conservative Humour

Published by at 9:16 am under Governance

  • In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
  • — John Adams 

  •  If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. — Mark Twain 
  •  Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. — Mark Twain 
  • I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. — Winston Churchill 
  •  A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw 
  •  A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy
  •  Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. — James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994) 
  •  Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. — Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University  
  •  Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
  •  Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavours to live at the expense of everybody else. — Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
  •  Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan (1986) 
  • I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. — Will Rogers 
  •  If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! — P.J. O'Rourke 
  • In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. — Voltaire (1764) 
  • Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! — Pericles (430 B.C.) 
  • No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain (1866) 
  • Talk is cheap…except when Congress does it. — Anonymous 
  • The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. — Ronald Reagan 
  •  The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. — Winston Churchill 
  •  The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain
  • The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
  • There is no distinctly native American criminal class…save Congress. — Mark Twain
  • What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. — Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
  • A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have. — Thomas Jefferson